I hate my ex-boyfriend!

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We all have an ex or exes depending on how you attract and dump them or how they get attracted to you and you get dumped. I am not sure if it is something to be ashamed of or something to be applauded of..I would say it depends with the priorities at hand. That not withstanding, I am sure we have all had an exe or exes and there is that one ex who is the benchmark of ’em all. He or she is like the marking scheme of all the people (exes, one night stands, weekend stands, name it..) who have managed to be in your life. This is that one person who set the bar up there and something tells me not so many of us have managed to replace these benchmarks.

i hate my ex boyfriend

I have developed ‘new hatred’ for my ex-boyfriend…. I mean…He set the bar so high and i have been having such a hard time. The few frogs I have kissed are either sloppy kissers, bad lovers are there is just something wrong with them. The reason we are  exes is because something didnt work out pretty well and common sense dictated that we move on and moving on we did. But the problem is that I keep comparing my dates to him. My ex used to behave this and that and this new catch just annoys me from here to Guangzhou with the way he kisses, the way he eats or just the way he talks. My ex used to hold me this way and he would cup my face this way when he kissed me but this new catch doesnt have the time to cup my face, he grabs my face and goes ahead to suck the life outta my lips. And washes you with all the saliva he can gather from his mouth. I think I read somewhere that when kissing people exchange 12 gallons of saliva, eeeeew! I want to stop kissing already, can you imagine all that saliva going down your throat #Ijustpukedalittleinmymouth#

My ex used to call me just the right time and we talked all about the right things but my new catch drains the charge outta my phone with his texts and its kinda annoying. My ex just had the right things to say and at the right time…With this new catch…..his vibe just doesnt tickle my fancy and to tell you I dont dread his texts I would be lying. Pretending to like one’s vibe is a real torture and being the nice me, text etiquette dictates you reply a text even when you dont feel like it. Now the problem is when this ‘textee’ does not read the signs and goes on and on and you cant outrightly tell them to stop.

My ex was the perfect gentleman, well not quite but he knew how to read my body language..these other frogs i have been kissing in a bid to see if they’ll turn into a prince cant do that. My ex-boyfriend never used to have  small talks, he would go straight to the point. Small talks sap the energy outta me and sometimes I just want to strangle a soul and tell them to go straight to the point!

My ex never at one time tried to make me know that he is the man of the house…probably he should have but I gotta give it up for the few frogs I have kissed. They are all gentlemen, one was good enough to wipe my shoes once when I visited and him and it was all muddy et.al.. Read ready breakfast when i woke up and many other nice things :-)..Anyway, here is the sad part, all that awesomeness just went down the drain..we left each other, hahaha! Is there something like that? quick boyfie

The bottom line is, I hate my ex-boyfriend! . I cant seem to get anyone like him…yeah, yeah, yeah, i know…thats the whole point…Aaaaanyway, I hate him because, no one will ever match up to him ..dont get me started on his perfect height, perfect body mass,perfect smile and perfect laughter…ooh, and the perfect lips and eyes and head….sigh…..and prefect teeth,lol! Dont get me wrong..I have moved on already, just that no one has ever matched to him…And ooh, he was just the perfect kisser,but I hope the last frog I kiss turns out to be the prince..I am tayaaaad! Of kissing ’em frogs…sigh! kissing ’em too many toads..Wait, I guess toads are little cute as compared to frogs..Probably I should start kissing toads from now on, one might just just turn out to be the prince since the transformation will take a little less time. And we will live happily ever after….:-D

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