Caller: Hello, how are you?
Receiver: Hey, I’m fine, how are you? And the small talk goes on and on.
The truth is, the receiver of the call might be going through a lot but we have all perfected the art of lying. Yes, these days no one gives two rats asses about anyone other than themselves; so its alright to keep problems to self. I mean, we all have problems to solve; ours and our families to solve. So, why would anyone want to burden another with theirs? Anyway, this is not about what is ailing the world; well it is in a small way. On a second thought, lying is not a small thing; it is a huge thing. I mean we lie about everything and anything. The most worrying thing is that it has become the norm and we have accepted it. It is sad that we lie even when it does not benefit us with anything. We’ll lie to spare someone’s feelings, we’ll lie when we don’t want to hang out with them, we’ll lie and lie some more. Is it ok to lie? Even when you need to save your neck? The answer is NO- a resounding NO!
Did you know lying about everything is a condition? Yes, lying is a disease. But I know what you are thinking; that some of these disorders are a creation of the whites trying to mint money from unsuspecting citizens. People who lie to save their necks and maybe just for the heck of it are said to be pathological liars. Pathological liars will lie even when there’s nothing to gain. Most of these lies are quite transparent and you can tell they are lying. Sometimes you’ll confront the liar but sometimes you just want to see them make a complete fool of themselves. It’s no brainer; lies are the main cause of strained relationships all over the world. Even a small lie can ruin everything you have nurtured for years and years.
How to spot ‘em pathological liars
There’s no pharmaceutical medication to pathological liars. Pathological lying can either be genetic or it can be picked. Pathological lying is a mental illness and it can also be a symptom to other disorders like psychopathy, and other antisocial disorders like personality disorders. So, if you have that friend, colleague, family member who lies about everything and anything; maybe its time to nag them to see a shrink. Lying is like an addiction and we all know addictions are bad for our health; mental or psychological.
Pathological liars are attention seekers. As I said earlier, lying is an addiction; its like they get a high when they lie. Look closely at people who have attention-seeking behaviors; they also tend to be pathological liars. Attention seekers are needy people and their lying also comes in handy when they are trying to get the attention they desperately need. What do you do with attention seekers? Ignore them, or maybe give them an ear but don’t act on their neediness. Better still, tell them you know they are lying and you are not moved. Easier said than done but in the end, next time they’ll know better than to lie.
Acting as the victim all the time; pathological liars as noted earlier are attention seekers. They will make the situation looks so bad just so they can come out as the victims. These are the people who will lie they are suffering from one illness to the next. They are always broke; life has been hard on them for one reason or the other. It is even sad cus some of them drag their kids into the mess. If its not the first born who’s sick, it’s the third born who has just been discharged from the hospital. I will never understand how people lie about their health or that of a loved one. Call me superstitious but I always imagine I might lie that I’m sick and then become sick for real.
Dealing with pathological liars
- Tell them you know they are lying and later tell them you are not moved.
- Book them for a session with a shrink
- ‘Give them eyes’ –I mean, refer to the first remedy