Forgive even before they apologize

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They say the only two honest people on this earth are a drunkard and a child below 8 years; when they get to nine, they are already mini-adults. Well, ‘honesty’ for a drunken person is just an act of cowardice because they are not bold enough to say it as it is. Ask a child about what they feel about an outfit and they will tell you if it is smart or bland. They might not give the exact details but if they said it is not good, trust me it is not. The beauty about kids is that they’ll always say it as it is; they are better than your friends who will never tell you a certain dress doesn’t look on you. So, if you have a child that tells you someone has not been nice to them, trust them, they can’t make that up.

This is not so much about honesty but about forgiveness; I know that escalated fast. Anyway, we all get into nasty word fights with our friends, partners and well, pretty much anyone we have a relationship with at work or anywhere else. During that heated moment, we are bound to exchange nasty words that leave us so hurt and it only takes the grace of heaven to forget about it. When you get into such an exchange and if you have a chance to walk away, please do, otherwise no amount of apologizing will ever erase the nasty stuff you said.

Saying nasty things to your loved one is not something that comes to you when you start that fight. It is something you’ve entertained in your mind for far too long but you never got a chance of saying it. I read a post on Facebook sometimes back of sisters who got drunk and then started spewing all manner of horrible words to each other. They are uterine sisters (your homework for this week). In that moment of insults and stuff, one of the sisters let’s call her Delilah said the other sister, let’s call her Sarah is ‘dirty blood’ and some other evil stuff. So, Delilah was asking if she should apologize to Sarah since everyone in their family is up in arms that she should apologize.  My issue was not even apologizing but the fact that she had thought about dirty blood in her sister all long even before the alcohol came into the picture. She might apologize and even do a sacrifice to signify how sorry she is but the fact that she said it when drunk means that’s what she’s thought about her all along

Therefore, next time someone says you are ugly or you are fat or you are A, B, C, and D when they are tipsy and then cry foul the next morning, they meant every word they said. That to me is cowardice and it should never be taken lightly. Also, when they say something nasty when you get into a fight and a few weeks/months down the line they decide to apologize and include that line of ‘I didn’t mean to’, they meant exactly what they said.  I’m a firm believer of forgiving even before the wronging party apologizes because it just lessens your burden.

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Accept the apology when they finally decide to apologize and swiftly move on. I’ve been wronged one too many times but the best thing about this soul is that she forgets quickly. However, that does not mean I’ve given you a leeway to step on my toes every damn time. I just don’t have enough space for carrying grudges; they are too heavy.

Peace *insert peace emoji

 

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